In this paper the author describes her observation of a baby boy and his family from birth to 18 months against a backdrop of loss. The trauma of the mother's diagnosis of breast cancer and its effect upon the whole family are explored. The baby's capacity to cope with the subsequent separation from his mother and her depression during treatment is understood using Klein's theory of internalised objects. The paper draws on Bion's concept of containment to make sense of the mother's conflict between distance and closeness; then the baby's later experience of different levels of involvement and understanding from his carers and how this resulted in his altering levels of emotional engagement. The paper also describes how the unacknowledged loss within the family was split off; this frequently resulted in the first child and observer being the receptacles for this distress. The containing function of the role of the observer is considered in light of the family's more hopeful state at the end of the observing time. The author reflects on the baby's play in the observation and role it played in the baby's emotional development and recovery from his confusion and trauma.
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