Enchantment, trouble, and learning: reflections of a couple and family counselor participating in person-centered large group encounters

摘要

Inspired by experience in a large unstructured person-centered group in which I was both distressed and the cause of distress in others, I find parallels between group experience and that of persons in intimate relationships. In both, enchantment and belonging can give way to frustration and alienation. The encounter with the other brings confusion and disappointment that can interfere with the search to understand and be understood. I describe an inner dialogue in third person journal form at the heart of an encounter group that shows complexity not unlike that in friendships, families, and couples. One’s secure self-concept can be shaken by misunderstanding and apparent rejection in the course of intense human interaction. I consider two models of group process. Having a perspective from my own work as a couple and family therapist, I add the benefit of learning to expect trouble: seemingly irresolvable conflict and subsequent lack of skill and connection. Experience of group trouble makes normal our trouble at home. Approaching both group and intimate relationships as learners rather than holders of the truth can turn trouble into a deeper form of enchantment.