Backyard jungles

摘要

It's a spring Monday morning and the departmental office puts a phone call through. I can already guess it's someone calling to ask for "an ornithologist". I know the caller will be irate and expecting me to solve his problem. Yes, I have the answer; no, he's not going to like it. So, I listen to the tirade about how woodpeckers drum on his home at 5 a.m. at the weekend. Will I remove them? No. Can he shoot them? No. What can my distressed caller do?