The unmet need

摘要

When a man discovers his infertility, the shock, pain, and sense of failure are enormous. He is emotionally traumatised and grief stricken. One courageous man asked to meet others who were also unable to father a child. He identified the need for men to express their thoughts and feelings. The response to the men's group has been overwhelming. Each group meets for six sessions on Friday afternoons. This time, chosen by the men, is important, as they have to interrupt busy careers and schedules to give themselves an opportunity to meet. One man had a burning need to talk. The group listened intently and, through the bravado of laughter, the group understood the underlying abject pain. This has become important: to tell, to be listened to, to be heard, to be acknowledged, and to be supported through the grieving process. Another was very quiet. He was encouraged by the group to say how it was for him. He said that hearing the stories made him realise that fatherhood through donor insemination was not for him; he could not accept the anonymity of the genetic father because it would be a continual reminder of his infertility. Adoption was more acceptable.